Carl English’s OBI blog

It is Thursday and I am out of the office, but not for fun.  My water well is broken and I am waiting for the stores to open so I can buy very expensive parts.  The job is not overly hard but can be tedious.  Pulling and fixing a 350 feet deep water well is not my idea of relaxation.  If you have ever worked on your own water well, you know what I mean.  Those city folk sure do have it easy.  This is why everyone should enroll at OBI and get an education, you can afford to have someone do it for you.  Well, enough of the whining, it is time to get to work.  I will try to update with my progress.  Viva la city water!

I am really tearing it up now.  This is like three entries in one month.  I am getting much better at this.  I was a little late with this one, but I just had two knee surgeries and had other things on my mind.

The fourth of July is over and it already seems summer is drawing to a close.  So now it is time for everyone to enroll in OBI, and I do mean everyone.  We are having some little changes in the school that may not seem like much, but it is the little things that count.  My office is slowly but surely becoming clean.  Do you think papers from 1995 should be thrown out?  I think I will keep them.  They may have important information.  Like info on MC Hammer, the Fugees and Pogs.  OOOOh pogs.

I positively, absolutely, without a doubt hate summer.  I sweat so much I think I am melting.  I like winter when fat people like me look tough because we don't have to wear coats.  Ahhh, the life of a polar bear, that's for me.  Speaking of polar bears, the cellular phone store down the road has a poor soul dressed like a polar bear walking up and down the road to advertise AT&T phones.  It was 90 degrees the other day.  Not a good time to be wearing a full body fur suit.  Number one: what do polar bears have to do with cell phones?  Number two:  That wasn't so much an advertisement for cell phones, but an advertisement to get an education or training and get a good job that you love.

Well the Buy Carl an X-Box 360 fund and the Buy Carl a Snowblower fund were both busts.  I am starting a Buy Carl a Lawnmower fund.  Like always I accept cash, checks, money orders, puppies, comic books and lightly used socks.  Maybe I can afford a new lawnmower before winter comes. 

I plan on posting some pictures of life at OBI soon.  Actually as soon as I know where I put them.  Well, back to work.

Nenoo, Nenoo

I enjoy writing in this blog, but often forget about it due to other events in my life, such as leg waxings, and jello wrestling.  I have made a mid-year resolution.  I am going to blog once a week if it kills me. 

OBI is going to have some fun new changes at the beginning of the school year.  We will have new vending machines.  Yippee!  The vendor promises to keep them filled up.  We will see.  We will also have some wireless Internet hubs in the school.  I will also be wearing a bikini on the first day.  Not really, I just wanted to see if you were still reading. 

If you are a former graduate of OBI or are currently attending and know some one who is interested in college, send them my way.  It can earn you some money.  Administration is here all summer, so I am more than happy to talk and give tours.  Really I am, because I think  I am growing attatched to my chair.  I should probably get up once in awhile.

See you next week!

The weather is changing and college fair season is starting again.  I feel a lot of sympathy for the attendees of these fairs.  The cool kids are trying to look cool, the tough kids are trying to look tough, and the boyfriends and girlfriends spend all night making kissy faces to each other.  But all in all it is a good time.  I talk quite a bit at these fairs, so to keep my throat pliable, I drink lots of water.  By the time the second hour rolls around, I have to go to the bathroom so bad I think I will faint. 

I hope everyone is getting over the winter blahs.  I never get the winter blahs.  I get the summer blahs.  That is the season I have to quit watching TV and playing computer games and do some work around the house.  When I mow lawn it takes me 4 hours.  That is 3 hours fixing the lawnmower and 1 hour mowing.  Woe is me!  I think I will blacktop all 2 acres of my yard, then we will see who has the last laugh(take that dandilions).  Probably the blacktop people when I get my bill.

The flu is running rampant.  I think it should fight like an adult, not sneak up and kick you in the shins when your not looking.  Doy you know why all the flu bugs, germs and virus are so small?  It is because they are uggggggggly.  If I was a blob of nauseating, oozing material, I would never want to be bigger than microscopic size either.  Wait, never mind, forget I said that. 

I have added some new Captain America action figures (ahem) to my office collection. If my collection ever came to life like in Toy Story, the bad guys will totally get whipped, because there is like only two of them up there.  Darth Vader might be able to hold his own for awhile, but I think Thor would totally end up owning him.

I think that I will make a secret identity for myself.  I will be Captain OBI, defender of Olean Business Institute.  My weapons will be, boomarang caculators and neck tie lassos.  I will also use my Mighty Stapler of Justice to eradicate bad grades everywhere.  Wait I just realized if I tell you who I am my identity is no longer secret.  If you see a guy running around OBI in spandex and a funny mask, it isn't me.

Due to intense pressure from Mr. Bryson's Monday night Biz Org. class, I have finally decided to update my blog.  Really, it is more out of fear of Julie Thropp.  She has all those moves that a former Marine has and I think she could make me cry very easily. 

I had been out with the flu for almost a week, when I came back I thought I would get a warm reception because I had been missed, but one student put it all into perspective for me when she said, " You haven't been here?"  As the late great Rodney Dangerfield put it, I get no respect. 

The Get Carl an X-Box 360 fund was a dismal failure.  I am actually very touched that the students didn't donate to it.  I think they were worried I would come down with carpal tunnel syndrome and strained eyes.  You guys do care!!!!

I should start the Get Carl a Snowblower Fund, but running a snowblower requires work, and to be honest with you, I just can't see that happening.

Don't forget about the Refer a Friend program.  Help me help you, by the power of Grayskull!  You can't handle the truth that if you had 500 hundred more dollars you will have to buy a bigger boat.  I will make you an offer you can't refuse. 

Happy New Year everyone!  I didn't bother to make any resolutions this year.  Like most Americans, I tend to break them.  I should make a resolution to update my blog more frequently, but everyone knows that one will be shattered.

The new semester will start soon.  That means a new bunch of faces and more names for me to forget.  I always know who people are I just forget what they go by.  If I call you Hector, I am not trying to be insulting, I just have temporary brain freeze. 

Enjoy the rest of your holiday and see you soon.

It is the first day of finals.  Yipee, right.  Probably wrong.  Finals is the dreaded word that almost all students fear.  Relax.  You will do fine.  I am actually pleasantly surprised.  I do not see the massive amount of stressing that is usually common at OBI during this time.  That impresses me.  I knew we had a good group of students this semester. 

During your break, please think of our soldiers far away from home.  One of our own, Bradley Gayton was just deployed.  Bradley, if you are reading this, Merry Christmas buddy.  We are thinking of you.  My day is a little quieter and a lot less exciting since you have been gone.

Apparently it takes more than one, or at least more than one to get it done in a timely matter.  As soon as I hire my personal assistant and valet, I will be more productive.  The thing that is the most irritating about my blog situation, is that I really enjoy writing it, so why don't I do it more often. 

I am listening to Christmas songs on the radio.  Does Christmas shoes make anyone else cry?  I am sorry, that was a typo, I meant to say does Christmas Shoes make anyone cry.  I am too tough to cry at that song. (sniff)  If you want a Christmas song that will make you cry, listen to Snoopy's Christmas.  Not the one that is played on the Peanuts TV special.  It is a moving song about Christmas during wartime, it just happens to have Snoopy as the main character.

Well, this is the final day of classes.  I want to tell the students that are graduating something.  I have enjoyed having you at OBI.  There will always be good memories assosciated with your time at OBI, for you and for me. 

OK, on to personal business.  The buy Carl an X-Box 360 fund is at critacally low levels.  I hate to push the point people, but you need to give, give, give, if we are ever going to reach our goal.